Right Here Waiting...

After yet another failed month (year), I (we) need a break.  I am worn out and my thyroid is acting wacko for some reason - I have a new doctor working on that part of my system.  I had 8 cysts this month and after having 2 eggs on the left that did not release (probably because of the stupid thyroid), I need a break.  I need to find me, I need to know what the hell is wrong and get me back together.  This really shouldn't be this hard for anyone...  Once we feel everything is in order, something else goes out of order.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Where does it end?  Where does it begin?  We will succeed, we will win this battle.  Until then I will keep marching through the Swamp of Sorrows.   Our Luck Dragon will show up and carry us away some day soon.  I know this is short, but I don't know what more to say at the moment.  I should have autoimmunity tests out the wazoo coming in soon and hopefully that will give me some form of answers in that department.  I'll also be doing the Wilson's Temperature Syndrome test while we are not trying.  I'll be surprised if I don't fail it.  

Here's a picture of my sweet boy, Ryker.  He's sad because daddy left him and went for a run.  

Purgatory

Sorry for the long hiatus.  It has been a whirlwind.  Since December more has been discovered about my body.   I bled nearly the entire month of December, which is why the Dr. in Houston took over my file.  A CD 3 u/s in January showed a 3.5 cm cyst on the right ovary.  At this time I asked if the HCG supplementation during the luteal phase could be the cause and she said she had not seen it before.  February I had 2 eggs, neither released so March, we did a full monitored cycle and a trigger shot.  I had and released 2 eggs.   March was the first month I did the HCG injections since November.  Guess what, after releasing 2 BEAUTIFUL eggs on the left, I have at least 4 cysts (bilateral-meaning both ovaries) 2.5 cm-4.0 cm large.  With that news, I sent a research showing that HCG can cause OHSS, which can cause cysts to form even after perfectly normally trigger of eggs.  This comes to why I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY DOCTOR!!!  I received a call from her and she thanked me, clarified that I will NEVER be on HCG again and that thanks to the data she had a couple of other patients that will benefit.  

As far as this month goes, I have no clue.  Thanks to all of the cysts I have not started my period yet.  My husband gave me a progesterone injection last night to hopefully jump-start my cycle.  After I start, I have no idea.  I am sure that I will be going to a Lupron trigger followed by Estrogen and Progesterone support in the luteal phase.  However, I will not know until I start and I have another u/s to make sure the mass of cysts are gone.  I'm pretty ok with everything though.  I mean after 3 years, you get use to it, I guess.  My whole thing is that I am always one step closer.  Everything is one step closer, it is all for a goal, a beautiful goal.  We will succeed.

I am still running, and I finally placed 1st this weekend in my age group on a trail run.  It was awesome!!!  After heavy rains, the trail was pretty much an impromptu creek and I had cramps from hell at mile 2, but I trudged on and won!  Here's a photo of me taking a swim.

 And my award!!!

If I could be like that.

Another holiday season, another year, more failure.  Love and I are getting pretty frustrated with the whole TTC thing.  With our jobs, it is getting harder and harder to pin down a time that we are together, then there is always the fact that we have tried and tried again and failed and failed again.  Yes, due to Women's Hospital and Dr. Butcher I was basically forced into being a for 13 months of our trying .  Last month he was working nights and of course, I work days.  Thankfully I have oodles of vacation.  After a 22 day luteal phase (12 of which was spotting-yes, this was a medicated cycle), who knows when I'll O this month.  I am scheduled to be out of town next Monday-Wednesday, then again Sunday and Monday the following week.  I get frustrated when my doctor says "you should be using all of your fertile days for relations."  Well whoopty do!  Why the hell didn't I think of trying that.  I calmly say something along the lines of we try, but due to conflicting work schedules and my body being retarded, it doesn't always work out for us.
I have one doctor here, but he is not comfortable with my chart so keeps referring back to the Dr. in Houston.  The Dr. in Houston wants to take back over the file and I have no problem with that.  I prefer the way she handles things.  I am just ready to cry, cry, cry.  Long and hard.  I need my husband to be home long enough to let me break down, I need to see the tears flow, I need to let go.  I am very close to throwing in the towel.  I won't because I am too stubborn to do such a thing, but nearing 3 years of TTC is killing me, it's killing us.  We are a strong couple and I know we will make it through, but this breaks both of our hearts and I am tired of being broken.  Love always use to tease me for bringing home the broken dogs.  Sorry, honey, we're broken as well.  It's what gives us personality, it's what defines us.  We choose how it defines us.  We trudge on through the muck and we survive, we are survivors.
Speaking on trudging on, we worked the aid station for the Cajun Coyote 100 mi race.  I always love meeting new people and watching them accomplish such a feat.  Like the rest of the country, Louisiana was not cooperating weather wise the weekend of Dec 6.  We packed up the dog, the rented U-Haul trailer and a friend thinking that the temp on Saturday was suppose to get to mid 50's.  It was raining Friday as we headed over and stopped when we arrived.  Saturday morning we got to the aid station around 7 and started looking for the sun-the sun that never showed it's face.  Cloudy all day, wet from the rains the day before and never went above 35 with humidity at 90%.  It was COLD!!!  We had a rocking fire and a little space heater, but there is not enough to keep warm in that kind of cold.  Ryker spent most of the next 30 hours in the tent, truck or next to a heat source as possible.  At one point he decided that he would run with the runners...  This park is huge and that concerned me slightly.  He ran off about 3 miles and said hi to them while keeping them company, working his way back through the crowd.  Love my boy, but mamma did not approve. Sunday around 0100 freezing mist started.  We thought we were just delirious from the amount of time we'd been awake, but no, there was white flakes lazily making their way to the ground.  I took my allotted nap from 3-6 and woke up to the pouring rain.  All runners who were not finished were starting their last lap at this point.  There is no way to prepare for this kind of weather!  Heavy rains flooded some of the trails fast and the runners were needing to trudge through knee high puddles/streams to finish, all while the temperature hovered at 36.  To all of my friends who completed this race, that is how you show determination!!!  That is how you get through life!  The last runner came through our aid station around 10:30 Sunday morning.

Myself and my Dear friend Miriam!  She is a doll!  (Yes I carry around a water bottle at all times).

Everyone watch Ryker.  My friend Dwayne (Miriam's Husband, who rocked 80 miles), myself, Love and my new friend Ramone (he rocked that 100 miles)!  

It really is a focus on the beauty of people.  Even at their worsts they are still smiling.  I love my trail running crew, we are the best.  We can stick together and stand up for one another.  We are all a little quirky, but that is what makes us unique and awesome!

Time, time, time

I am not smart enough to keep my mouth shut. I keep getting more and more piled on at work and I keep volunteering for more things in my spare time. Y'all aren't here to listen to me complain about work though.

Baby making is going. I've been doing the injections like a champ and all seems to be ok, except my estrogen that was low is now high. I guess that's ok, but I haven't had a lot of time to look up data and see. Basically my levels were nearly the same on my 7 dpo draw;18 (E) and 19 (P). This month has been a little wonky otherwise as well. My HCG injections tested out then the line showed back up only to vanish and never return. Here I sit 17 dpo with no more than light bleeding, no sig temp drop and stark white tests. Of course this is a holiday week and of course I'm working. No blood test possilities until Tuesday. Sigh...

A-Day!

Sorry, I've been MIA.  Every time I would try to enter this blog, my phone would crap out on me (yes I have been to Apple regarding it on SEVERAL occasions but they are about as helpful as the broken phone), or tell me the post I started did not exist.   So here is the round-up from surgery (I won't bore you with the wonderful photos my doctor gave me).  

Random Chattering from a Slacker .

After some delay, mostly just me being too busy to do much of anything outside of eat and sleep, I have my Dr's report from May 6th… Yes I know it's June.

Finally!  Finally, we get to move forward.  We get to advance, we will have answers!  We are so excited to move forward!

One Good, One Bad

Here's the race reports that I had ready before Boston happened:

Something to Believe in.

I don't know where to start right now.  I had a whole blog already written with my last 2 race reports, but I just can't publish them now.  I'm furious, horrified, numb, yeah, numb.  A finish line will never be the same.  WTH is wrong with people?  

Fast Life

I owe a race report.  Sorry, I'm slacking and I'll get to it at the end of this!!!  My AF this month was a mess.  Cramps like never before, I actually took drugs for them (4 Tylenol).  I hate drugs! I'm still cramping off and on, and still spotting 8 days after the start and stop.  TMI warning!!!

Say What?!

So what if I'm a bitter bitch.  I know I shouldn't care if people think I am because my SIL is pregnant.  Call me old fashioned but I think you should make sure that you are happy in a relationship (2 months DOES NOT determine level of happiness-particularly with her track record).  It is not fair to the child you have to keep bringing new men into the home, it is not fair for the one you are about to have.  If/when this relationship fails, then she is bitter at the dad.  She is irritated that they are not there, cycle repeats!  STOP, PAY ATTENTION, LOOK BACK!!!!  What are you doing wrong!?!?!?  Earn some respect for yourself, teach some respect to your daughter. 

I Saw Red

I've had some time to cool down.  Last weekend I was going to one of my group sites on FB and lingered a few too many seconds on my home page...  I see a picture of 2 banana splits and a comment about how it's nice to eat what you want when you're pregnant.  FROM MY SIL!!!  

Where's my flux capacitor?

Back to the time of the month where hope is restored.  Every month when that egg is released, it's new hope, a new future.  Every single month...  At least I don't have a problem ovulating.  Like clockwork for the past 4 months on CD 14, before that, anywhere from 14 to 21, but at least I ovulated.  I have some wonderful friends on the trying to conceive (TTC) boards, some of whom never know if they will ovulate or when they'll ovulate.  Other's have miscarriage after miscarriage.  I am fortunate to have not went through either of these trials.  At the same time I feel as though the makers of pregnancy tests are just being aholes to me and some other TTC couples, that maybe our urine has some weird chemical in it that just won't turn a test to 2 lines.  Maybe we missed out in the 6th grade when they gave you a trigger pill or shot to turn the damn things positive.  Yeah the irrationality that strikes me sometimes is questionable to my sanity.  Pair that with my mood swings and you have a real basket case at times.  Thinking about it, a lot of things question my sanity.  I suppose that's how many of us are though, I mean, who defines normal?

Losing my mind...

Monday we had our appointment with the Naprotechnology doc.  Things went well.  All and all he's skipping the year of observation and allowing us to go straight to the surgeon in Houston.  Great news! Looking at my charts, HSG results and just talking to me, he is pretty sure I've got endo, cysts and/or fibroids.  Endo runs in my family and having a previous diagnosis (never investigated further) my chances are high.  So a few trips to Houston are in order soon.  I cannot wait to move on.  It will be a nice 

I swear if I see another positive pregnancy test or birth announcement I'll  flip out and steal the adorable little babe (not really, but the thoughts have crossed the mind for people who should not be reproducing).  I actually posted on FB that if someone really needs to talk to me they need to PM me.  I'm not getting back on there until I can get or am pregnant.  I have a few groups I go to, but I cannot stand to see another baby related post right now, 12 on Valentines Day is enough to blow anyone's mind.  20 months of this crap and no quick fix in sight-yes I am done right now.  Please put the fork in me.

Off onto better topics…  My first 10k on the road was today.  It was only a minute slower than the same race last year.  Considering my training has not been what it was, that is great.  I finished in 1:07:07.  I'm ready for Pensacola.  This race was the confidence I needed.  I ran negative splits the whole race.  Figured that was a sane goal.  The water stop around mile 3 threw me off and I lost a little time because of that.  The wind was equally brutal on the levee, but I expected that so it wasn't too bad for me.  I really wish I would have worn a warmer shirt and some gloves though.  I factored in that the sun would help raise the temps, no the wind won…  44 is a hard temp to run in.  No wind it's pleasant, but factor that wind coming off the river and it's a bit chilly.  Overall I was excited to finish with a great time and no pain.  My husband waited for me since he was stopped waiting for a train.  It was awesome finishing with his slow wife.  My food has been getting swelling with my foot, but I think it's just swollen all the time now.  I can't wear most of my heels, my sausage foot won't fit in them.  If I do wear them, it is for short periods and I always have a back up pair of shoes "just in case."  It is great to be back and ready for a half!!!  3 years ago, I ran this race as my first 1/2 marathon.  It is the one race I hope to always run.  I mean it's a planned vacation every year, who doesn't want that?  

Photo from last year's race.  I won an award.

Back at It!

I suppose I should update on my 10k.  Not my fastest, but that's not what I was out there for.  The sense of accomplishment I had at the end of that race was awesome.  There was no pain, not an inkling during or after the race.  I ran with some friends the whole way and while I could have pushed myself a little bit harder, I didn't.  The goal for the day was to finish without pain, to finish the race in the city that sent my world crumbling down on October 14.  The weather was perfect, camping was excellent and my mood cleared.  It was what I remember about running, the energy, the release, the love, the controlled footsteps and occasionally the little jump over a log.  Trail running...  There is not a greater release in my opinion.  I finished in 1:31.  Terrible time, but like I said I wasn't there for time that day.  I could have pushed harder, I could have finished in 1:20 or less, but why risk re-injuring myself?  I know I wouldn't be able to handle injury again, nor could the dogs.

Bliss

I've been in a mood the last few days.  I worked all weekend and was supposed to have Tuesday off due to the holiday (I have Monday's off so if there is a holiday that day I get the next day off as well  I worked both of those days).  I usually love working on the marshes, but with Ryker at home and DH working all the time it's stressful for everyone.  Now I'm just waiting for Friday off!  I've been doing more yoga and trying to head off my negative mood with positive thoughts, it's working slowly but surely.  Camping this week before my first race since the foot injury should help (as will the race).  It is a 10k on the trails.  I'm nervous since I haven't really ran over 3 miles (I've hiked 8 though while working in full field gear).  I'm thinking that this might end up being a walk/run thing and I'm ok with that.  I'll do what my foot says is acceptable.  I'm the most nervous about the 1/2 marathon in April.  That's when memories come in and remind me of what happened 6 months before.  Maybe I'll be pregnant and I can worry about that?

Dynamics

Quetesh and Ryker

Welcome Ryker, to the Love household!  At dinner Friday of the week I picked the sweet boy up, my husband noted that 1)  It can be hard to place a large dog 2)  It makes it even harder to place a pitbull 3)  He is a good boy and deserves someone who understands him so we should keep him.  So Ryker is a permanent addition to the family.

Run to You

Lots of love & food going toward this guy!

I'm back running.  :)  It feels great to run again.  I've been running at a local park and went there again on Wednesday.  We just had a front come through and there was standing water in some areas plus it was chilly (38 and windy).  I was scheduled to do 3 sets of 8 min run/2 min walk.  Everything was going good and then I started the 2nd rep.  Tied to a pole in the middle of the park was a dog.  Skinny and afraid.  I went up to him and he was starving for attention, but timid.  I grabbed the tie out they used to tie him up with and brought him to my truck.  He was afraid of getting in at first, but after some encouragement, we managed.  He's around 55 pounds right now and has been abused.  Looking at his teeth, he's just under a year old (I figure the might be able to give me a better idea tomorrow).  He's decent on a leash and just a bundle of gentle energy.  This morning while I was playing with him I'd sit on the floor and he'd get real low and wouldn't get rough.  As I stood up taller, he'd get a little rougher.  Pretty sure he's an American Pitbull Terrier, but no way to know for sure if he's mixed or not.  We think someone wanted a fighting dog and he wasn't a good option.  He has a few fight marks on his ears and nose.  There is a mark on his head that we cannot figure out if someone tried to brand him or beat him so hard he has a scar either way, he's with me and he'll be staying. In my house the cat rules the wild kingdom.  Quetesh thinks she rules all food (as we've seen with her trying to steal the 10# bone from him).  He just looks at them both like they are nuts.

Who could beat this sweetheart!?!?

The only signs of any fight were when Quetesh nipped him.  He didn't bite, just barked and baked up, so not aggression, but submission.  Still we will keep on our toes with them since he's still young and getting comfortable and Quetesh is cranky in her old age (and I need to stay on her).  Bonus:  I have a running buddy.  It's good that I have him now, since you need to start them out slow as well, and I'm more likely to take it easy on a pup than I am myself.  :)  I survived telling my husband pretty well in tact and I think he wants to keep him.  He fits well in our dynamic, a couple of broken people with broken animals.  Love is the glue that puts us together and makes it all work.  When I told him I figured he'd ask why I didn't just leave the dog.  Instead he said, leaving the dog would have made you just as bad as the person who abandoned him. When he got home from work, the dog backed behind me then when straight up to him and sat giving my husband his head for a good loving.  This won his heart, pretty sure.  We do need to decide on a name for the guy (preferably before tomorrow so that I can give the vet an actual name for him).  I already have dreams of him with a doggie back pack carrying his water bowl and a hands-free leash on a run...

Those bones might be bigger than I am, but they are mine!

It's funny how what you need finds you just when you need it.  Despite my acceptance of infertility, I still have my bad days and all I want to do is cry.  Running and dogs are the best cure for me.  On top of helping a less fortunate baby, which allows that motherly instinct to come out, I feel better.  Ovulation is just around the corner and maybe we can complete our family with 2 sweet pups, a crazy cat, and the joy of a new baby. I can dream can't I?   Here's to my New Year hopes!

So this is Christmas.

"So this is Christmas, and what have you done?  Another year over and a new one just begun."  John Lennon

Being raised in a Christian family I grew up celebrating Christmas.  Most of the celebration focused around 70 people in one house and more kids than an orphanage arguing over who's toy was the best.  Somewhere along the way we missed the point.  Tired parents drag us home and we reset to our misbehaving ways.  My birthday is January 2, so I would also get my birthday present (usually a combined gift) from many family members.  It didn't take me many years to figure out that I was getting the short end of this deal in the material world.  The whole point of Christmas is not to receive, but to give.  With all of the commercials you'd never know.  I always look at the families who go to the soup kitchen or who take their kids shopping for another family instead of themselves and think, "Man, I wish I was raised with those values."  Don't get me wrong, my family did a great job raising me, I just feel that this would have made me a better person, given me a more rounded life.  I never felt the draw towards Christmas that others felt, maybe it was my birthday being so close, maybe I was just frozen from the cold, maybe it just wasn't what my heart felt was right.

Now as an adult I understand the meaning behind Christmas.  It's not that my family did not teach me, it's not that I was led astray, their teachings led me here. No matter what religion you practice, it is about giving, it is about loving, it about looking forward.  I am a Druid and proud to admit it.  I discovered Druidry a few years ago and everything about it was what I had been looking for.  Today, Alban Arthran (Winter Solstice), is the day I celebrate.  Today is when I will open the cards given to me by my dear friends and family. I will be thankful for every one of them and what they have given me and I will do my best to return the blessings to others.  Today I will be thankful that the sun will set a little later and that today is always one day out of the past and one day closer to the future.  The future that holds a little one that I can teach about giving, loving, living.

To me this season is too busy.  There are too many people who rush, too many people period (if you go to a store), too many who still need help who are forgotten.  This leads to short tempers, hurtful words, damage to our souls.  So for the next week, slow down, look around, and take in the world around you.  Help those who need it, love those who need it, love yourself and remember that you are a small piece of this world.  You are not the center of it, but just a piece.  This does not make us unimportant, without your piece, we leave hole in our puzzle.  Remember that others have accepted that they do not believe everything you believe.  That beliefs are our own heart's feelings and if you do not feel the same way, it is not your place to place judgement on someone.

Tonight I will practice a special yoga ceremony.  I will take in the chill of the air, the love of nature.  I will think back on the year, the good and smile, the bad and weep.  Most of all I will look forward with acceptance, with gratitude, with respect for myself, others and the planet.

So Happy Holidays!  Merry Christmas, Happy Alban Arthran, Yule, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa ...  The list goes on.  So when someone says Happy Holidays, it is not that they are disrespecting the baby Jesus, they are respecting him by the acceptance of other beliefs.  Bring peace in your heart and peace shall find you.

Starting Over

The big day is here.  After 10 weeks, I'll be able to run again!!!  I will reintroduce my feet to the motion of the run on "The Beast" trail.  We will be helping our friends with Forge Racing out this weekend with a night time 10k Sat and 1/2 marathon on Sunday morning.  It might be raining, so I'll get to make my first run back, an excellent first run back!  I LOVE running in the rain, it is so relaxing and amazing!!!  So I will split away at some point for some opening up of the legs for a mile or less.  If all goes well I can do 3 by my birthday!!  HA!

I did let the legs open up a smidgen a few weeks ago at the Cajun Coyote 100 mi race at Chico State Park.  We were working the aid station, and would run to greet runners as they came out of the woods at all hours of the night and day.  Can I say that was the most AMAZING feeling!  It was nice to know they still work.  The race consisted of 20 mile loops, there was a 20 mi option, 100k, and 100 mi option.  The winner was a very pleasant man, Mosi Smith.  His nickname should be smiles!  Every time I saw him he had a smile plastered on his face.  I was grateful to be the person greeting them as they made their stop into AS2 (Aid Station Number 2).  Over the course of the day(s), I had the opportunity to get to know these wonderful people.  They ranged from first timers, to one man (Scott) completing his 25th for the year (I wonder how his 26th went this past weekend?).  There was undoubtedly a winner in the insanity category-AD Marshall-he ran from Baton Rouge (100 mi) then ran the 100 mi race.  If I ever lose enough of my mind to do something like that (I said that about marathon's before and I've ran one of those, so it's all relative-ha!) I hope that I look as good as he did on that last lap.  He looked strong and was pushing through.  His times were great and his spirits high.  There are not enough words to say how lucky I am to have been there for everyone.  I love to run, but I also love to be there for the runners when they need me the most.  Even if it is just a bowl of chicken broth.

Chicot State Park is beautiful, I cannot wait to explore that trail myself some day. I love cypress, they are beautiful trees! As far as the babymaking front goes, this month is a no go.  I started Vitex, and it extended my luteal phase out.  I started my normal (when not on Progesterone) spotting at 4dpo and it tapered off.  I started flow on 12 dpo, but it lightened up and my temp hasn't crashed yet, so I'm thinking that I'll really start today.  I did take a HPT today, but of course it was BFN.  Had to make sure.  I was surprised that the Vitex affected me the first month, maybe the Vitex was all we needed?  Maybe next month (this month) is our month?

Restless

So sorry about the onslaught of posts.  I had published my previous 2 posts, but the crazy system didn't agree.  

Thanksgiving was nice.  My dad came to visit, it was the first time we had family in town for a holiday so it was a little hectic trying to get everything just right.  Dad has Celiac's so GF was the theme.  I managed to make egg noodles that tasted good (I have an extremely high standard for egg noodles) and stuffing that was excellent.  I used my grandma's classic egg noodle recipe using a rice flour mixture in place of the old wheat flour.  The turkey was good (not a big fan of the smoked flavor, but everyone else likes it so I'll deal with it).  I had the work pager, which thankfully was quiet and just spent time with my family. We did not do much, dad was only here Thursday through Saturday and he left early, so more relaxation time for him.  He did go and purchase some boudin which is apparently ok to take on the plane as a carry-on (frozen, if you ever need to know).

Roll forward to Monday and the sinus infection of epic proportions starts up.  Since I moved to Louisiana my sinus infections skip the whole clogged up head thing and go straight to my damn ears!   I cannot get anything done when I have vertigo and that is what happens when your inner ear is under pressure. I have ear drops and they work wonders (usually), but the congestion just would not relieve this time.  My usual diet under a sinus infection is to avoid my beloved cheese (dairy) and to eat grapefruit, onion soup and drink tea.  This paired with the drops, essential oil burner and even medication was not cutting it.  I cannot just go to the doctor and get antibiotics since I'm allergic to most of them, and the few I am not allergic to I'd rather not push my luck with them, I might need them one day.  So I suffer.  I attempted to come to work yesterday, hoping that getting out would help.  By 10, my head was spinning and I had to get out of dodge before I couldn't drive.  So home I went.  By the time the husband got home I was laid out on the couch in some serious pain, right ear throbbing (drops not helping it), and a fever.  I managed to the shower and felt better in the humidity (decided we need a humidifier for the bedroom-odd for Louisiana, but it's a mandatory with the heater running apparently), then my husband remembered we had some ear candles left.  Why not?  I'm absolutely miserable and it cannot make things any worse.  Ear candling has been used for centuries to cleanse the spirit and the body of many different ailments.  I was a bit afraid to use them on my ears, especially the right one with all of the pain in it, but really what could it hurt at this point?

We position the first one in the right ear and he lights it.  Near instant relief!  The amount of crap I could feel coming out of my ear was amazing and the explanation of why it hurt so damn bad!  I probably could have done 2 more candles on that ear at the least, but I only had two and I still have another ear.  I couldn't believe how quickly my head cleared.  It was insane!  I decided to read up a little on ear candling for sinus infections and it has been used for just that purpose.  I'll be stopping by the store tonight and purchasing some more tonight so that I can finish clearing the ears of the funk.  I know some people are skeptical of them, but they are a mandatory item in my house.  When you cannot function because of a measly sinus infection and something helps you, then use it.  I was so desperate by the time my husband got home I mixed a shot of ACV (apple cider vinegar) and water.  It wasn't as terrible as I expected, who knows what fully helped out, but something did the deed and I'm a new woman this day.