Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Something to Believe in.

I don't know where to start right now.  I had a whole blog already written with my last 2 race reports, but I just can't publish them now.  I'm furious, horrified, numb, yeah, numb.  A finish line will never be the same.  WTH is wrong with people?  
I had promised myself (and my husband) that I wouldn't do my usual stalking of the Boston Marathon.  One of my best friends was not running this year.  After many hours of deliberation last year she decided not to defer.  I have never been so happy that someone was not running yesterday, she would have been crossing the finish line when the explosives detonated, and since it was DH's birthday I had said we'd be there, we could have been there!  I had promised that I would check on my other friends after my chiropractic appointment (23 of my friends ran yesterday).  My appointment was at 14:00 CDT.  I walked in the door and my doctor heard me.  He ran out and asked if everyone I knew was ok.  My face went white.  I tried to gather info on my phone, but the reception in this office is not the best.  I raced home and turned on the tv.  I grabbed my computer and started checking on friends.  The local running group fared well, check.  On to my online buddies.  These are the people who helped me through my first 1/2 marathon 4 years ago, they have been with me through so many races, so many injuries, life.  It took around 3 hours to establish the safety of everyone.  One of these runners was in between the blasts.  I just cannot fathom the what those who were there witnessed.  It is not only a physical pain for many, but a mental pain.  This pain will be felt throughout the running community.  I know I am not the only runner questioning that next finish line, questioning the sport that makes me sane.  I will not quit running, HELL NO!  I will not be deterred by this!  I will go home tonight, lace up my shoes and run.  I will run to remember, I will run to sort out what happened, I will run to survive.  So many runners will do the same.  We will run to kill the pain, we will run to clear our heads, we will run to remember.

How many times have we stood at a finish line?  How many times have we waited or had our family waiting for us at the finish?  How many times have I watched a proud parent grab their kids up right before the finish line to celebrate their accomplishment, to show their love of running with their family.  To run a marathon is not just an individual accomplishment, but an accomplishment for a family.  It is the result of many late nights, early mornings, "special diets", blisters, bruises, ice baths, Epsom salt baths and pure dedication.  Everyone in the family has to sacrifice something, even if it's just a few hours of sleep on race mornings.   16 weeks of pain, 16 weeks of love, 16 weeks of strength.   

To those who thought that this was a way to destroy our resolve, HA!  To those who think hatred is the answer (on both sides) I pity your ignorance.  To those who are suffering, I lend my shoulder.  To the world, Peace!

We swear, by peace and love to stand,
Heart to heart, and hand in hand.
Mark, O Spirit and hear us now,
Confirming this our sacred vow.
Druid's Sacred Vow

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