Right Here Waiting...

After yet another failed month (year), I (we) need a break.  I am worn out and my thyroid is acting wacko for some reason - I have a new doctor working on that part of my system.  I had 8 cysts this month and after having 2 eggs on the left that did not release (probably because of the stupid thyroid), I need a break.  I need to find me, I need to know what the hell is wrong and get me back together.  This really shouldn't be this hard for anyone...  Once we feel everything is in order, something else goes out of order.

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Where does it end?  Where does it begin?  We will succeed, we will win this battle.  Until then I will keep marching through the Swamp of Sorrows.   Our Luck Dragon will show up and carry us away some day soon.  I know this is short, but I don't know what more to say at the moment.  I should have autoimmunity tests out the wazoo coming in soon and hopefully that will give me some form of answers in that department.  I'll also be doing the Wilson's Temperature Syndrome test while we are not trying.  I'll be surprised if I don't fail it.  

Here's a picture of my sweet boy, Ryker.  He's sad because daddy left him and went for a run.  

Purgatory

Sorry for the long hiatus.  It has been a whirlwind.  Since December more has been discovered about my body.   I bled nearly the entire month of December, which is why the Dr. in Houston took over my file.  A CD 3 u/s in January showed a 3.5 cm cyst on the right ovary.  At this time I asked if the HCG supplementation during the luteal phase could be the cause and she said she had not seen it before.  February I had 2 eggs, neither released so March, we did a full monitored cycle and a trigger shot.  I had and released 2 eggs.   March was the first month I did the HCG injections since November.  Guess what, after releasing 2 BEAUTIFUL eggs on the left, I have at least 4 cysts (bilateral-meaning both ovaries) 2.5 cm-4.0 cm large.  With that news, I sent a research showing that HCG can cause OHSS, which can cause cysts to form even after perfectly normally trigger of eggs.  This comes to why I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY DOCTOR!!!  I received a call from her and she thanked me, clarified that I will NEVER be on HCG again and that thanks to the data she had a couple of other patients that will benefit.  

As far as this month goes, I have no clue.  Thanks to all of the cysts I have not started my period yet.  My husband gave me a progesterone injection last night to hopefully jump-start my cycle.  After I start, I have no idea.  I am sure that I will be going to a Lupron trigger followed by Estrogen and Progesterone support in the luteal phase.  However, I will not know until I start and I have another u/s to make sure the mass of cysts are gone.  I'm pretty ok with everything though.  I mean after 3 years, you get use to it, I guess.  My whole thing is that I am always one step closer.  Everything is one step closer, it is all for a goal, a beautiful goal.  We will succeed.

I am still running, and I finally placed 1st this weekend in my age group on a trail run.  It was awesome!!!  After heavy rains, the trail was pretty much an impromptu creek and I had cramps from hell at mile 2, but I trudged on and won!  Here's a photo of me taking a swim.

 And my award!!!