Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Right Here Waiting...

After yet another failed month (year), I (we) need a break.  I am worn out and my thyroid is acting wacko for some reason - I have a new doctor working on that part of my system.  I had 8 cysts this month and after having 2 eggs on the left that did not release (probably because of the stupid thyroid), I need a break.  I need to find me, I need to know what the hell is wrong and get me back together.  This really shouldn't be this hard for anyone...  Once we feel everything is in order, something else goes out of order.

Where does it end?  Where does it begin?  We will succeed, we will win this battle.  Until then I will keep marching through the Swamp of Sorrows.   Our Luck Dragon will show up and carry us away some day soon.  I know this is short, but I don't know what more to say at the moment.  I should have autoimmunity tests out the wazoo coming in soon and hopefully that will give me some form of answers in that department.  I'll also be doing the Wilson's Temperature Syndrome test while we are not trying.  I'll be surprised if I don't fail it.  

Here's a picture of my sweet boy, Ryker.  He's sad because daddy left him and went for a run.  

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


Sorry for the long hiatus.  It has been a whirlwind.  Since December more has been discovered about my body.   I bled nearly the entire month of December, which is why the Dr. in Houston took over my file.  A CD 3 u/s in January showed a 3.5 cm cyst on the right ovary.  At this time I asked if the HCG supplementation during the luteal phase could be the cause and she said she had not seen it before.  February I had 2 eggs, neither released so March, we did a full monitored cycle and a trigger shot.  I had and released 2 eggs.   March was the first month I did the HCG injections since November.  Guess what, after releasing 2 BEAUTIFUL eggs on the left, I have at least 4 cysts (bilateral-meaning both ovaries) 2.5 cm-4.0 cm large.  With that news, I sent a research showing that HCG can cause OHSS, which can cause cysts to form even after perfectly normally trigger of eggs.  This comes to why I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY DOCTOR!!!  I received a call from her and she thanked me, clarified that I will NEVER be on HCG again and that thanks to the data she had a couple of other patients that will benefit.  

As far as this month goes, I have no clue.  Thanks to all of the cysts I have not started my period yet.  My husband gave me a progesterone injection last night to hopefully jump-start my cycle.  After I start, I have no idea.  I am sure that I will be going to a Lupron trigger followed by Estrogen and Progesterone support in the luteal phase.  However, I will not know until I start and I have another u/s to make sure the mass of cysts are gone.  I'm pretty ok with everything though.  I mean after 3 years, you get use to it, I guess.  My whole thing is that I am always one step closer.  Everything is one step closer, it is all for a goal, a beautiful goal.  We will succeed.

I am still running, and I finally placed 1st this weekend in my age group on a trail run.  It was awesome!!!  After heavy rains, the trail was pretty much an impromptu creek and I had cramps from hell at mile 2, but I trudged on and won!  Here's a photo of me taking a swim.

 And my award!!!

Monday, December 23, 2013

If I could be like that.

Another holiday season, another year, more failure.  Love and I are getting pretty frustrated with the whole TTC thing.  With our jobs, it is getting harder and harder to pin down a time that we are together, then there is always the fact that we have tried and tried again and failed and failed again.  Yes, due to Women's Hospital and Dr. Butcher I was basically forced into being a for 13 months of our trying .  Last month he was working nights and of course, I work days.  Thankfully I have oodles of vacation.  After a 22 day luteal phase (12 of which was spotting-yes, this was a medicated cycle), who knows when I'll O this month.  I am scheduled to be out of town next Monday-Wednesday, then again Sunday and Monday the following week.  I get frustrated when my doctor says "you should be using all of your fertile days for relations."  Well whoopty do!  Why the hell didn't I think of trying that.  I calmly say something along the lines of we try, but due to conflicting work schedules and my body being retarded, it doesn't always work out for us.
I have one doctor here, but he is not comfortable with my chart so keeps referring back to the Dr. in Houston.  The Dr. in Houston wants to take back over the file and I have no problem with that.  I prefer the way she handles things.  I am just ready to cry, cry, cry.  Long and hard.  I need my husband to be home long enough to let me break down, I need to see the tears flow, I need to let go.  I am very close to throwing in the towel.  I won't because I am too stubborn to do such a thing, but nearing 3 years of TTC is killing me, it's killing us.  We are a strong couple and I know we will make it through, but this breaks both of our hearts and I am tired of being broken.  Love always use to tease me for bringing home the broken dogs.  Sorry, honey, we're broken as well.  It's what gives us personality, it's what defines us.  We choose how it defines us.  We trudge on through the muck and we survive, we are survivors.
Speaking on trudging on, we worked the aid station for the Cajun Coyote 100 mi race.  I always love meeting new people and watching them accomplish such a feat.  Like the rest of the country, Louisiana was not cooperating weather wise the weekend of Dec 6.  We packed up the dog, the rented U-Haul trailer and a friend thinking that the temp on Saturday was suppose to get to mid 50's.  It was raining Friday as we headed over and stopped when we arrived.  Saturday morning we got to the aid station around 7 and started looking for the sun-the sun that never showed it's face.  Cloudy all day, wet from the rains the day before and never went above 35 with humidity at 90%.  It was COLD!!!  We had a rocking fire and a little space heater, but there is not enough to keep warm in that kind of cold.  Ryker spent most of the next 30 hours in the tent, truck or next to a heat source as possible.  At one point he decided that he would run with the runners...  This park is huge and that concerned me slightly.  He ran off about 3 miles and said hi to them while keeping them company, working his way back through the crowd.  Love my boy, but mamma did not approve. Sunday around 0100 freezing mist started.  We thought we were just delirious from the amount of time we'd been awake, but no, there was white flakes lazily making their way to the ground.  I took my allotted nap from 3-6 and woke up to the pouring rain.  All runners who were not finished were starting their last lap at this point.  There is no way to prepare for this kind of weather!  Heavy rains flooded some of the trails fast and the runners were needing to trudge through knee high puddles/streams to finish, all while the temperature hovered at 36.  To all of my friends who completed this race, that is how you show determination!!!  That is how you get through life!  The last runner came through our aid station around 10:30 Sunday morning.
Myself and my Dear friend Miriam!  She is a doll!  (Yes I carry around a water bottle at all times).

Everyone watch Ryker.  My friend Dwayne (Miriam's Husband, who rocked 80 miles), myself, Love and my new friend Ramone (he rocked that 100 miles)!  
It really is a focus on the beauty of people.  Even at their worsts they are still smiling.  I love my trail running crew, we are the best.  We can stick together and stand up for one another.  We are all a little quirky, but that is what makes us unique and awesome!

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Time, time, time

I am not smart enough to keep my mouth shut. I keep getting more and more piled on at work and I keep volunteering for more things in my spare time. Y'all aren't here to listen to me complain about work though.

Baby making is going. I've been doing the injections like a champ and all seems to be ok, except my estrogen that was low is now high. I guess that's ok, but I haven't had a lot of time to look up data and see. Basically my levels were nearly the same on my 7 dpo draw;18 (E) and 19 (P). This month has been a little wonky otherwise as well. My HCG injections tested out then the line showed back up only to vanish and never return. Here I sit 17 dpo with no more than light bleeding, no sig temp drop and stark white tests. Of course this is a holiday week and of course I'm working. No blood test possilities until Tuesday. Sigh...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


Sorry, I've been MIA.  Every time I would try to enter this blog, my phone would crap out on me (yes I have been to Apple regarding it on SEVERAL occasions but they are about as helpful as the broken phone), or tell me the post I started did not exist.   So here is the round-up from surgery (I won't bore you with the wonderful photos my doctor gave me).  

Monday, June 10, 2013

Random Chattering from a Slacker .

After some delay, mostly just me being too busy to do much of anything outside of eat and sleep, I have my Dr's report from May 6th… Yes I know it's June.

Finally!  Finally, we get to move forward.  We get to advance, we will have answers!  We are so excited to move forward!

Funny Encouragement Ecard: If I can fight Endometriosis, then I can certainly kick your ass...