Thursday, September 20, 2012


Where to begin...

AF showed up on Tuesday.  Not a big deal besides she's here once again, the big deal is this starts the timeline for intervention.  Like a good student I called the RE and scheduled my appt for Thursday to do an u/s.  I broke down at home because in all of my life I never imagined IUI being a route for us, who envisions not being able to get pregnant when you spend your entire life trying not to get pregnant?
Once it was out of my system I felt better and was just ready to get on with everything.  I warned my boss, co-workers and friends that I will be on hormones and don't take anything too seriously. Then... the doctor calls yesterday.  I had done one of those genetic tests and one marker came back positive.  Well, he won't proceed until my husband gets in there and gets his tests back, which means he has to come in.  Then after I discussed it with them a little more they decided that it was ok.  Well, that's better but what the heck!  Then they called back and said since your BIL has a chromosomal defect he will not do any further procedures until DH is tested.  Are you freaking kidding me?!  They have had this information since day 1!  If this is SO important they should require before ANY procedures are completed, not start and then make a big deal about it.  It is the whole point that it was not a big deal until just now.  If we would have went through with his suggestions we would have done the 3 day bloodwork (which includes the genetic test on me only), then clomid and HSG and IUI.  The genetic test would have came in around the same time as the IUI, so I would have started everything to stop?!  This test only determines if you carry the marker (which can or cannot be activated) and if you both have the marker it is a 8-10% chance of the child being born (not the 25% they like to scare you into believing).  I'm not a fan of scare tactics, I'm not a fan of being bullied, and this is what they are doing.  Basically how I look at it, the doctor makes more money to do IVF which he could do to "eliminate" embryos with markers.  Keep in mind these marker need to be activated.  Also that he is treating the information regarding my BIL like it is new news.  We discussed this in the initial appointment and it was agreed on a mutual that is was most likely my MIL young age and an infection that she had at the time.  I WILL NOT BE BULLIED BY FEAR!

This is how my doctor looks (or at least how I feel about him at the moment).

Don't get us wrong, we do not want a child with a disability, we do not want a child to suffer (the test I tested positive for would lead to much suffering), but we also believe it should be our decision to take a 10% risk. The information provided should be used to make a decision, but if you are going to base an entire decision on it, then do it from the start before you torture me with an HSG.  I'm sorry, but this is not what these tests are for, they are for helping families make decisions not worrying about your insurance deductible, and then bring in information you already knew and make it like you didn't know about it.

So as for the rest of this month, it's going to be natural.  As far as I'm concerned I can't handle people like my RE.  I cannot handle being bullied.  I told DH it's his decision where we go, I don't think I can trust my RE at this point, my opinion will be based only on emotion.  So where we go from here, I don't know.  I just can't handle this.  To make everything better Monday is the 6th year my cousin was murdered.  I'm done with this week...