Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Wine after whiskey.

Here we are, waiting for AF to show so I can get this show on the road!  So frustrating, my chart was BEAUTIFUL this month!  Triphasic, dip around implantation time...  Alas, once again no, 2 lines will never be on one of those stupid tests.  I even bought another brand because surely the ones that I'm using are faulty.  I don't know what we'll do.  There are a few more doctors we can go to in the area, who is right for us, do we want to subject ourselves to more doctors, or just go for the money shot and do IVF, or just plain old say screw it?

How ridiculous is this chart?  By all sanity I should be pregnant.
So let's see here, I have a perfectly beautiful chart.  Anyone who looks at just the temps and not all the BFN's says pregnancy.  Today is one of those days I just want to stay in bed all day.  I want to stay there and listen to my husband sleep (he was called back to work right after he got home last night and just got home when I was leaving).  I want to do shots of whiskey, and cry in the corner, I want to put my running shoes on and just go!  I'll probably resort to the shot of whiskey tonight, even maybe the crying in the corner part.  Until then I'm at work.  I get to go to the field today at least, and I'll be calling the ortho to get my boot off of my foot on Monday (1 week early-YIPPIE).  I'll swim tomorrow night and hopefully I can use the water the way I usually use the pavement.   I don't know how much more I can tolerate of this.  16 months of charting and trying to conceive, 19 months of trying period.  Screw it!  I see the charts, one of them was 98 months of trying.  I would have said screw everything a long time ago!  If adoption was a possibility for us we would have no problem doing just that, but it's not.  On to another freaking month unless someone has a turkey miracle up their sleeves and I happen to be one of the 1% of women who process the HSG to efficiently and therefore I cannot get a pregnancy test until I'm 8 weeks or something.  Stranger things have happened.

What would you do?   I'm not one to give up, but it seems so damn easy right now.

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